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Zod Announces Candidacy

General Zod has formally announced his intention to seek the Presidency of these United States as an independent candidate. From his website:

When I first came to your planet and demanded your homes, property and very lives, I didn’t know you were already doing so, willingly, with your own government. I can win no tribute from a bankrupted nation populated by feeble flag-waving plebians. In 2008 I shall restore your dignity and make you servants worthy of my rule. This new government shall become a tool of my oppression. Instead of hidden agendas and waffling policies, I offer you direct candor and brutal certainty. I only ask for your tribute, your lives, and your vote.

28 Responses to “Zod Announces Candidacy”

  1. Trent Hill Says:

    The interesting part is. General Zod would probably get a few thousand votes if he were on the ballot,LOL.

  2. Cutty Sark Says:

    I’m worried about him splitting the Cthulu vote.

    http://www.cthulhu.org/

  3. Trent Hill Says:

    It doesnt matter! Both the Cthulhu and Zod vote will be overwhelmed by the Walken vote!

    www.walken2008.com

  4. Timothy West Says:

    what makes him any different than Bush/ Cheney?

  5. Trent Hill Says:

    ........

  6. Cutty Sark Says:

    More moderate.

  7. torah Says:

    Is there a possibility that L. Ron Hacker might be involved?

  8. Joey Dauben Says:

    Is it just me, or does that ad photo of George Phillies look like an aged Michael Badnarik?

  9. Cody Quirk Says:

    I’d rather vote for this guy then Michaal Peroutka in 2008.

  10. Ted Says:

    Are you sure he wasn’t channeling Hillary?

  11. matt Says:

    I’d vote for this guy before I voted for McCain.

  12. Trent Hill Says:

    LOL. Cody, I wouldnt. I’d gladly vote for Peroutka over ZOD.

    I mean seriously, you ever seen Zod? He completely kicked Superman’s ass.

    doesn’t matter. Walken has my vote.

  13. Cutty Sark Says:

    Screw you guys. Cthulu kicks both of their ass put together. I’m going to go play by myself now, and you can’t have my toys. So there!

  14. Cody Quirk Says:

    Peroutka is a anti-Mormon bigot and a sore loser that can never be accepted in the CP, and he and his cronies like to gnash their fangs on TAV as ‘retaliation’ to the CP.

    Even for a over a million dollars I will never cast a vote for him again!

  15. Trent Hill Says:

    I dunno Cutty. General Zod was pretty badass. However,maybe you’re right. Cthulu always impressed me alot too.

    Maybe a Cthulu/Zod ticket?
    Walken will be Secretary of State.

  16. Jason Gatties Says:

    The way Cody feels about Peroutka is the same way I feel about Badnarik, except for different reasons ofcourse.

  17. Cutty Sark Says:

    Trent, you’re the man. Sounds like a plan. I’ll have Cthulu’s people call Zod’s people. We’ll at least bring them to the table. I’d leave Walken out of the sit-down though. He’s a human, and if he sat down at the table with those two he would have a high chance of becoming lunch.

  18. Cutty Sark Says:

    Peroutka and Badnarik are both way too extreme to attract a mass audience.

  19. Trent Hill Says:

    Cutty, thank you. You also have many masculine qualities!

    Perhaps this table should be made of adamantium, as I forsee alot of fist slamming in this meeting. Also, I think Walken should be in attendance. His Shatner-like mediating skills will add alot to the discussion. And if he gets devoured, we remove a possible opponent of Cthulu/Zod.

  20. Cutty Sark Says:

    Cutty, thank you. You also have many masculine qualities!

    That’s what my girlfriend tells me. Sometimes, though, I secretly suspect she is only interested in one of them.

    Gotta check my jeans pocket…hold on…whew, what a relief, it’s still there.

    Oh well, what can you do…women, can’t live with them, can’t bury them in the back yard.

    And if he gets devoured, we remove a possible opponent of Cthulu/Zod.

    You have a point there. Walken’s in.

  21. Trent Hill Says:

    Bury them in the park.

    Hurray for including Walken. Who else might be considered for the cabinet?
    Im thinking Kramer.

  22. matt Says:

    Wayne Allyn Zod – Legendary Las Vegas Sports Villian, and self-described Libertarian Republican, is planning an Exploratory Committee for President to be launched later this month. Zod has had recent appearances on Fox News, CSNBC, ABC Sports, ESPN, and even HBO. A major Production Company is planning to do a Reality Show on his life and possibly campaign for President.Zod is a motivational speaker. He calls himself a “Libertarian Republican,” in practically every other breath. His “8 out of 9” correct Bowl games predictions, two weeks ago, has boosted his profile even further in the Sports Betting community. Zodis also Author of the Best-selling book “Millionaire Republican.”

  23. Cutty Sark Says:

    Trent: OJ Simpson – USDoJ.

    Matt:

    Ralph Cthulu, also known as The Old One, has recently announced that It may well be considering yet another run for President. The groans and cries from the surviving family members of Its countless victims were heard in every corner of the Earth and reached up into the heavens. Widely blamed for screwing up the last two Presidential elections and with passing the largest number of federal regulations in the US code of any living thing in the Universe, Cthulu has also funded its continuous 40 year pogrom to conquer Earth by blood and brains deducted directly from mandatory student fees, in a never-ending cycle of voracious violence and coercion. Ralph Cthulhu is a monstrous entity who is often claimed to lay “dead but dreaming” in the city of R’lyeh, a place of non-Euclidean madness presently (and mercifully) sunken below the depths of the Pacific Ocean. But, alert humans have seen it out and about every day and every night, wreaking more havoc on our cursed sphere.

  24. matt Says:

    hahaha

  25. Cutty Sark Says:

    hey, Matt, don’t worry, the Old Ones always wake up more than one at a time.

    George W. Cthulu has just announced his plans to run for a third term. When asked how this squares with the 22nd Amendment he replied, “I am the decider and I have decided, and I am not going to lose this election. Just like I decided I was not going to lose the other two, so I didn’t. If you are not with us you are with the terrorists. 9/11 changed everything, we are in a war and so far we’ve been ignoring all the other Amendments and getting away with it just fine, so why not another one?”

  26. Trent Hill Says:

    I LIKE O.J. Simpson for Department of Justice!

    Ohk. Department of Education, The Pope!!

  27. Carl Says:

    How about Landru for president?

    The true peace candidate.

  28. John Chance Says:

    Finally, someone UNdercover Anarchist can vote for

    Whew!

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