Third Party Watch

Since we generally get so serious about politics on this site, I thought it might be time to open up a thread with a less somber tone. I just wrote a posting about today’s GOP debate which I titled Snuffleupagous, eight Big Birds and a Congressman from Texas. Within a few minutes of hitting the “publish” button, a friend e-mailed to tell me that Snuffleupagous is really a libertarian. When I googled it, I did find such a reference. This got me thinking. What would the politics of the other Muppet characters be?

Kermit: He’s a dead giveaway, as he sings It’s Not Easy Being Green

Bert and Ernie: Considering their living arrangement and mannerisms, it’s pretty clear they aren’t Republicans or Constitution Party members. Could be Dems, Greens, Libertarians, but I’ve not seen any sign that they live in a Log Cabin. UPDATE: Snopes claims that Bert and Ernie are not Sodomites, but I’m not so sure.

The Swedish Chef: He doesn’t count, as he’s not constitutionally qualified to run for president. However, he’s more coherent that the current White House resident.

Miss Piggy: Considering that she doesn’t use “Ms.” she’s probably not a Democrat or Green. However, pork comes from pigs and a certain bridge goes to nowhere. She might be a Republican. One website claims that Karl Rove is known in gay circles as Miss Piggy, so I guess we can call this one confirmed.

Roosevelt Franklin: He’s a public school teacher and has a school named after him. Must be in the teachers’ union pocket. Clearly a Democrat. However, he cut his first LP in 1971, the same year the LP was founded. Maybe it’s not so clear after all.

Animal: Libertarian. No doubt about it.

Cookie Monster: Must be a Libertarian, Republican or CP member, as he doesn’t like sharing his cookies. More more likely Libertarian, as he pimps out Bert to Martha Stewart in this YouTube. Matter of fact, I could see him taking a case about stolen cookies to the U.S. Supreme Court. Imagine Cookie v. City of New London.

Grover: Despite the fact that he shares the same first name as Grover Norquist, he’s so much bluer than Stan Jones that he must be a Democrat.

Oscar: The post I previously referenced had an opinion about Oscar: “That leaves the Green Party to Oscar, occasionally barking his displeasure from the depths of his trash can.”

Elmo: He’s red, which would make him nominally Republican. As he likes to be tickled in a sexually bizarre manner, this clarifies that he’s indeed a Republican.

I’ve no earthly concept of which party that big, gay, yellow bird on Sesame Street belongs to. Any ideas?

This entry was posted by Stephen Gordon on Sunday, August 5th, 2007 at 9:35 pm and is filed under Random. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.